I grew up in a household where quality relationships were always a priority. My mother is a relationship and sex counselor, and she often shared her insights. Also, my parents always prioritized a supportive and healthy relationship with each other. It taught me a lot and set the bar high.
It’s no exaggeration to say that my marriage is probably the most important thing in my life, along with my family. Full stop.
Relationships are beautiful journeys of connection and understanding. It’s about getting to know each other deeply and sharing life’s joys and challenges. Understanding another person on a soul level, in any form, is one of the most fulfilling experiences in life.
A healthy relationship is absolutely a priority for Dean and I, who have been together for 11 years.
I’m sharing 10 practices to keep us close and connected, even while building a business together (which can be very stressful to say the least!). I hope these provide inspiration for your own relationships as well.
- Weekend together: We try to avoid all work (in recent years) and enjoy lots of quality time together. We walk together, go to the gym, and cook meals together. If we had kids, we would have them participate in this quality time and get some more alone time.
- Switch off your technology by 9:30pm every night: Our lives have completely changed!
- No phones allowed in the bedroom: This way, our bedroom becomes a calm, relaxing, healthy and nourishing space for us to spend time together. Dean knows he’ll get a call downstairs or outside.
- Annual vacation together: Every Christmas since JSHealth started, Dean and I take two weeks off and spend some special time just the two of us. This is how we get back the fruits of a year of intensive work. It is also very important to quit social media during this time.
- Avoid comparisons and what others think: I remember being in a relationship where I was so concerned about what other people thought. I’m a people-pleaser by nature and find myself generally sensitive to this. I remember feeling like the rest of the world didn’t matter when I met Dean…and the truth is, we feel like the world we spend together is so precious that we don’t need outside input. , no verification or comparison is required. It is very important to remind yourself how important it is to phase out the judgments of others and focus on your own truth.
- Avoid perfection: We both have Type A personalities and put a lot of pressure on ourselves to do everything “perfectly.” We are seriously trying to not let this be a factor in our relationship. For example, if you don’t spend as much time together during the week as you’d like, or you’re tired from work and your intimacy is less than other weeks, that’s okay. I think in the world we live in, we have unrealistic expectations.When you release this pressure, you will clearly see that what happens matters. largely at the time. We always tell ourselves: everytime Be perfect. ”
- Reduce stress for better sex: I don’t like to talk much about my sex life. Because we know that this kind of small talk can lead to comparisons. Having a mother who is a sexologist, I know how important sex is, but I also know that it ebbs and flows. Dean and I both value intimacy in our relationships, and we try to spend time together that leads to natural desire and a healthy sex life. For many people, sex gets better with age. I know my body better now. I also believe that the body needs to relax. Therefore, reducing stress in life is very important to maintain romance.
- We know what’s important: Our marriage comes first no matter what. The rest is second priority. This mindset is very important because we work together, and it’s probably a big reason why we work together so well. If work or business takes priority, it will put a lot of stress on us.
- Being there for each other in good times and bad: Although we have a beautiful life full of blessings, we have also had some pretty debilitating mental health issues over the past two years due to personal trauma that triggered symptoms of PTSD. All the anxiety I was feeling became related to the loss of a loved one. My biggest fear surfaced. I felt that in order to be 100% transparent, I would be losing the people closest to me, including Dean. I had terribly intrusive thoughts about loss. Dean was so strong and selfless to me. Of course, someday I might have to do the same for him. this is life. It can be beautiful and sometimes painful. We must make conscious choices to be there for each other in good times and bad. The last two years have been very tough, but it’s actually brought us closer together. Difficult times can help you connect more deeply with life and loved ones.
- respect: Without it in each other, all will suffer. That’s probably the main reason we’re able to work together every day.
Based on the above, the most important thing is to “try hard”!
Also note that our culture through media (movies, books, etc.) has glorified romance and relationships to a level that seems unattainable. I see it a lot in my work and personal life. I’ll never forget reading a post on Instagram recently that said: A healthy, loving relationship is one that feels like: A bowl of warm oatmeal with cinnamon and honey. It’s safe, warm inside, and feels just right. It feels good for the soul. It’s not a cake full of glitter, icing, and chocolate.
And it’s true!
A relationship is two people coming together to embark on an imperfect journey, but perhaps a once-in-a-lifetime experience in which you get to know yourself and the other person to the core, which is immeasurable to those around you. It brings meaning, joy, and beauty.
Comparing your relationship to others is very harmful because every relationship is completely different.
I can only keep in my heart every day that this immense love and joy will last a lifetime.